I Never Heard That One

Seeing as how it’s my favorite time of year, I was amazed to find out that there are obviously well known Christmas stories I’ve never heard. I thought I was pretty well versed in Christmas lore, but I never knew. I mean, Christmas tree ornaments reflect the traditions, stories, songs and memories of the Holiday…right? That’s why we have little sleighs, stars, mangers, snowmen, Santas, angels and reindeer hung on our trees every year. All very significant stuff. So…surprised I was while shopping to see them on the shelf in the “seasonal” department. I’d never heard the story of the “Christmas Firemen” before. But there they were! Six to a box with shiny red coats and hats…complete with boots and fire hoses. Very cute I must say and even though I’ve never heard it, I’m certain that the story of the “Christmas Firemen” has warmed many a heart over the years. It must have. The “Christmas Firemen” have acheived ornament status haven’t they? The story probably goes something like this. Once upon a time, there was an elf named Stinky who liked to take smoke breaks out behind the reindeer barn. Then one foggy Christmas Eve he absentmindedly tosses his butt into a pile of dried reindeer poop and starts the whole thing on fire. Luckily the North Pole “Christmas Firemen” get there in time to douse the flaming poop using candy cane hoses shooting egg nog. Thus, saving Christmas for all the good little boys and girls and achieving ornament status. And everybody knows that you don’t get to become an ornament without a good heartwarming story about saving Christmas for all the good little boys and girls unless you’re a manger, shepherd, nutcracker or angel. So, I’m sure it went something like that…right?