Thursday, August 13, 2009

Dadspeak

I don’t know when it happened. I don’t know how it happened. They snuck in one night when I was asleep and downloaded it to my brain. The next day...out it came. “Don’t make me stop this car.” “You’re going to poke your eye out.” “You should have gone before we left.” Dadspeak. The mandatory language of Dadhood. I got married...had children...woke up one morning and became my Father. Just as he had become his Father before. Dadspeak is an ancient language. Oh, it’s evolved...”Stop running in the cave” did become “Stop running in the house”. The basic structure, tone, volume and naggability factor however, remain unchanged ‘lo these thousands of years. Dadspeak is unescapable. No matter how hard you try to avoid it...trust me...it’ll get you. One day you’ll look at your child and...”I’ll give you something to cry about” will leap from your lips. And there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s a Dad thing.

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