Things I've Learned

In T. H. White’s “The Once and Future King”, Merlin tells a young Arthur that the best thing to do when you’re sad is…learn something. Now, my life hasn’t been all that sad, but I do think I’ve managed to learn a few things. And if I could choose two of the thing or two’s I’ve learned to pass along to my grandchildren, these might be them. First, I’ve learned that love is not ownership. No matter how many of those love songs ask you to “Be mine” or “Tell me that your mine” or “I’ll be yours forever” or “Be my baby”…that’s not quite the way loving someone works. Loving someone means being brave enough to share a life…not run one. Loving someone is not taking of control…it’s giving that someone the freedom, the support …the chance to be all that they can be. Loving someone means that you think you just might be strong enough…to let the person you love be strong enough too. Second, I would hope my grandchildren could learn the great responsibility that comes with letting yourself be loved. When you decide to accept the heart and soul and being that someone is brave enough to want to share with you…you must understand what a fragile gift that is. If someone really wants to love you…really wants to share their time and space and fears and hopes and sorrows and happiness and dreams with you…you have to make it perfectly clear to your own heart that you are willing to accept the great responsibility that comes along with letting yourself be loved. If you can’t or won’t…please give them back the freedom to find someone who will.