Monday, November 4, 2013

Words of Advice

OK…just a couple of things that I think a couple of you guys should think about. Just a little advice and it’s for your own good. To all my squirrel, raccoon, chipmunk and opossum friends out there, there is nothing you need on the other side of the road. Same stuff as this side…trust me. The acorns aren’t any sweeter, the babes are not any better looking, there’s no need to make the trip. And not making the unneeded trip reduces your smooshability factor geometrically. And to all my deer buds, not sure if you realize this or not, but those “Deer Crossing” signs are not meant for you. They do not mean that this is the ideal spot to safely cross the highway. What they do mean is that this is the ideal spot to cross the highway if you’re looking for an intimate affair with the front bumper of a Buick. And to my wild turkey friends…the birds not the bourbon lovers... you are supposed to be the smartest and most elusive of the game birds. Why then do I see you just hangin’ out, in plain sight, with those other turkeys in that corner field every morning? That is not being smart or elusive…that’s being dinner. I hope you guys will consider my words in the spirit they were given. See, I like you guys. I really do. And I’d just hate to see you get smooshed or seasoned so close to the Holidays.

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