Sunday, April 29, 2012
The Stuff People Tell You
How are you supposed to know if the stuff people tell you really is true? Seriously. How can I possibly know if the steak I had last night really was…”Grilled to perfection”…like they said it would be? What exactly are the standards of “Grilled Perfection” in steakology? I don’t know. And how many times have you seen “New and Improved” on a box or bottle? That’s a “Pants on Fire” if I ever heard one. How do you “Improve” something that’s “New”? Is that toothpaste I just bought really going to make my teeth 3 times whiter like the television commercials say? What if it’s just 2.75 times whiter? How would I know? They claim their mouthwash will kill 99% of odor causing bacteria in my mouth. I don’t recall anybody showing up to do a “Before” inventory. So how do they make that call? There’s that sleep aid they say will make me fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. First I’d like to ask…than what? And then…how am I going to know if I don’t stay awake and watch the clock? What happens if you don’t “Rinse and Repeat”? And if you’ve never met me how can you make anything…”Just the way I like it”? I don’t know…maybe life has just made me too cynical these days. But I’ll bet that just recently you too received a mailer from a store that said “Everything’s on Sale. Nothing’s Held Back” on one side. And then listed everything that’s NOT on sale and IS held back…on the other.